Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He
will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart. (Psalm 37:4, Amplified Bible)
Bronx Bethany deeply mourns the loss of Carlton Salmon.
My heart’s
desire was for Carlton to experience divine healing, and to live to come back
to Bronx Bethany, stand at the pulpit, and give his testimony of healing. But Carlton
died, and outside of a miracle of resurrection (which I long for!) I will not
see him again until I, too, die and am translated into eternity.
This morning,
the LORD led me to reflect on what it means to be given the desires of our
hearts. There is a heart desire generated
by my own mind and flesh, and there is a heart desire given to my spirit
by God Himself. God, in His goodness, gives
His prayer agenda to those persons who make Him their delight.
Where we
sometimes get confused is in moments where, led by the Lord, we pray earnestly
in a particular direction, a direction
given by the Lord, but God’s answer appears to be in stark opposition to
the very thing we believe He asked us to pray for. And in our weakest moments
we ask, Hey, what just happened? You
positioned me to pray and fast and do night watches and my prayers didn’t get
answered the way I thought You’d answer. I know You answered in Your own way, and I know Your
way is perfect, but I still don’t understand.
There is a type
of praying noted by the apostle Paul in Ephesians 6:18: “And pray in the Spirit
on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be
alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.”
As we pray all
kinds of prayers, those prayers include public petitions and secret petitions.
They include prayers in known languages, and prayers in Divinely prompted utterances
unintelligible to man but understood by God. Scripture appeals for prayer not
merely to the Spirit, but prayer in the Spirit. And our security is not
wrapped in the manifestation of the answer we want, but is instead wrapped in God’s commendation
as we obediently engage the process of prayer.
The apostle Paul
was absorbed in this sort of prayer. The work of intercession by Paul did not
rescue him from imprisonments and beatings. His practice of prayer, therefore,
was not as a means to an end. Paul obediently engaged an earthly routine
reflective of a Divine norm: devoted, continual dialogue with the Christ and
Lord of all the earth. No wonder he could say, “I am ready not only to be
bound, but also to die in Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus”: in the
presence of Christ and His gospel, what more was there for Paul to want? He had
no problem with even letting go of his right to a peaceable life. (see Acts21:10-14)
Guess what? I am
not the apostle Paul. I am a malcontent in recovery. I want more than just the
presence of God; I long to see His action. I want an amazing testimony of the
miraculous on the level of a Smith Wigglesworth or a Daniel Nash. A modern-day
parting of the Red Sea would make my day. I have a long way to go before I
reach Paul’s level of contentment in Christ alone, a contentment unshaken by
disappointments or sufferings… unshaken by those answers to prayer that throw
me for a loop.
I don’t
understand the ways of God. (Who can?) But I do understand our assignment
according to Ephesians 6:18. At any place, at any time, and in all sorts of ways,
we are tasked to pray. And God, who instructs us how to pray, holds the
prerogative concerning the ways in which those prayers are answered. A very
dear friend of mine has said to me, on several occasions, “Deal with it.” In
other words, Nevermind what you see. Just keep doing what you were
called to do. (I am, my friend. The prayers won’t stop.)
And here we are. Lord, give us the grace
and courage to continue obeying You, with no clauses or riders attached to our
obedience. Your people will pray, continually.
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