I Signed Up. I've Bought In. I'm Sold Out.

In this past Sunday's sermon, Pastor Sam said several things that have caused me to reflect on Simeon's prophetic blessing of Mary, my own personal bouts of soul trauma, and what the Christian experience of trauma might mean in relation to the kingdom of God.

Here are three of the statements our pastor made:

• "Sometimes in the process of grace, you go through untold trauma in the soul."
• "If you don't give up, don't bail out, don't resist, you might be around to see the end of God's grace."
• "What a joy it must be to know that God used you to do what He wants to do."

Today, let's reflect on the first statement.

Simeon, as recorded in Luke 2:34-35, spoke specifically to Mary and by extension speaks to us: Yes, a sword will pierce through your own soul as well. In other words, it's not just about Jesus's ignominy. We who align ourselves completely and obediently to Jesus will suffer with Him. What has Jesus said? "The time will come that whoever kills you will think that he is doing God a favor. They will do it because they don't know the Father, and they don't know Me." (see John 16:2-3)

Trauma, as a term, carries the notion of being wounded quickly and violently. A sword will pierce your soul. It is not a gentle, anesthetized experience of crisis. Soul trauma is harsh and painful. But, it shows the world whether or not we are people who truly believe and obey God. The apostle Paul, in his letters, calls out his colleagues by name and gives assessment of the state of their souls: Demas has forsaken me, having loved this present world (Second Timothy 4:10); Tychicus is a beloved brother, faithful minister, and fellowservant in the Lord (Colossians 4:7); I beg Euodias and Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord (Philippians 4:2).

Jesus calls out some colleagues by name as well. Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat, but I have prayed that your faith won't fail (Luke 22:31-32). I know your works: you have not denied My faith, even in the days when My faithful servant Antipas was martyred among you (Revelation 2:13). Trauma enters the life of the believer, and trauma hurts deeply, but trauma does not derail true faith. Instead, it produces in us a grace: the grace of God that draws us ever closer to Him, and makes us look more and more like Him.

Soul trauma is not like physical trauma. Physical trauma debilitates; soul trauma builds. Psalm 119 reinforces this sense of soul trauma as a building exercise. Princes sat and spoke against me; but Your servant meditated in Your statutes; Your testimonies are my delight (Psalm 119:23-24). Remember Your word to Your servant, in which You caused me to hope; this is my comfort in my affliction, for Your word has kept me alive (Psalm 119:49-50). Trouble and anguish have grabbed me; but Your commandments are my delights. Your righteous testimony is everlasting; give me understanding, and I will live (Psalm 119:143-144).

Are you experiencing untold trauma in your soul? Embrace it as an evidence of the grace of God, a grace commended by heaven and deeply hated by the evil one. Perhaps your being targeted is proof of your incredible value to the kingdom of God.

Mary, you grace-filled, favored, noticed-by-God girl, your righteousness will cost you. Soul trauma is part of the package. All that you know and love might die, but you will experience My Kingdom life: righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit. Are you in with Me?